When you have a new baby there are always family adjustments. Your current children, especially young ones, can feel a sense of displacement and insecurity in regards to their place in your family and your heart. It seems that it is a little bit more pronounced with adoption. We have thought about and prayed for Eve for 4 years, and now that she is on her way I sense that my younger two are wondering about what their life will be like when she arrives. They express excitement and love for her but there are subtle signs that tell me there is a struggle.
Signs like when I picked my 8 year old, Elle, up from school yesterday she seemed mad at me, I couldn't get out of her what was going on but suddenly she burst out in tears and told me she didn't want to go to tennis. "Why sweetie?" her answer....."Because I have to be away from you and I need more love". Hmm, so I told her I would stay and watch her the whole time and she seemed alright but constantly looked to me for approval during the lesson. Then after her evening bath she curled up in my arms and again said , "Mom, I haven't gotten enough love from you." "Ok sweetie I will hold you and give you all the love you want." After holding her for a long time I said "ok, time to go to bed". "Mom I just want to sleep with you, PLEASE, I don't want to leave you". Then she explained to me how she now hates school because that means she has to be away from me for a whole 6 hours and that is 6 hours with no love. This sudden hunger for attention and love is new. Don't get me wrong she always wants attention and hugs but this is much more pronounced. I just looked in her eyes last night and tried with all my heart to let her know that my love will not change when Eve arrives. I am praying that I will be able to maintain fulfilingl everyones needs as we embark upon this new exciting experience.
It is so amazing how important a mothers influence is. I was so totally aware of it last night as everyone was needing my love, help with homework, care, food and listening ear. I went from Elles' love and attention needs, to a long talk with my husband about important issues on his mind, to sitting on Chloe's bed being a listening ear, to getting everyone dinner and then helping everyone with homework and outfits for class picture day tomorrow. I fell into bed with a strong sense of my importance in their lives. All those needs could only be fulfilled by Mom. What an amazing thing to be so needed.
6 comments:
Hi Gale - I haven't commented here in a while, but I just love reading your posts again. This one brought tears to my eyes. I'm sure your girls will love little Eve, as much as you do, with time. I'm sure it'll be an adjustment too...one that I'm really worried about right now as our second baby is about to join our family in less than two months. Thanks for sharing your thoughts - you ARE a wonderful mother!
Did you take that picture of Elle? Your getting good if you did. Give those sweet girls a hug for me.
Christy, wow, you are having another....you are so lucky and will be amazed and your capacity to love another one as much as you do the first. I am so happy for you!
Leslie, no, I can't take credit for the picture. Olivia had a "photoshoot" day and took a ton of pictures of Ava and Elle that were amazing. I think she has some talent!
Oh my goodness, I'm feeling so overwhelmed for you just thinking about this. I can just imagine how it must feel to be needed by so many people, all at once. I'll bet that it's incredibly difficult and rewarding, both at the same time.
I'm sure that adjusting to having a new baby will not be easy, but you are all so wise and so loving. I'm sure that everything will eventually fall into place and that everyone will still feel loved and happy once Eve gets there.
I don't remember if I ever thanked you for the comment that you left me. Thank you! You didn't have to respond, but I'm so glad that you did. You're so sweet!
Hi Gale!
Beautiful post and yes, it is SO amazing to be so needed. A blessing. Being a mother is an incredible experience for moms only having one to someone who has 10 or more!
You have such a beautiful family and Eve is just gorgeous. I can't believe you leave in 2 weeks!!! Get set for the most incredible ride of your life. Holler if you need anything!!
Olivia...your hired when can you start :) I miss you you guys so much!
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