Sorry!!

Ok,I have received so many emails and calls about my last post. I am so sorry that I wasn't clear. We are not moving away, we are just moving to a new house. Sometimes I am sooooo not clear and I am sorry if I caused anyone brief confusion. I will say this, It made me feel so good that so many of you cared....I am actually glad I miscommunicated because it gave me a small ego boost, I appreciate the fact that I have dear friends who love and care about us and didn't want us gone. I will say that after our trip to Arizona, Chris carefully considered it....he was not liking the cold weather we came home to but we love the people here....salt of the earth, great, people who I want in my wagon train(my silly complement to people who I think are amazing.). We are not leaving!!! Blogs can be hard in that it can be so easy to miscommunicate when not intended. Type written words don't convey intent or heart. Thanks for your calls and email. I feel blessed to know you.

Getting ready to sell

I can't be the only one who hates moving. As we are trying to get our house ready to sell I just hate the whole process. I know how I am when I am looking at a house to buy, I evaluate every detail of the house and when I look at this house we have lived in for 9 years there will be some work to get it looking good enough that someone else will want to live in it. It is also sad to leave a house that we have loved, laughed, and had so many memories in. I get so sentimental about things but So much of our life has happened here. I look at each room and I have deep touching memories of quiet talks, tears, tickles and laughs, family home evenings, time spent plotting out our dreams and ambitions and just happy family life. See how I am??? I am going to weep like a baby when we leave. Don't get me wrong, our house is beautiful and we have kept it in good shape but I am picky and want it to look like new for the next owner. It will be a long process. I am sure we won't be moving for 3 or 4 months but we begin the process now. I am thankful for the great years that we have had here and I know that our new house will be a happy place for many more memories. It is all good!

Giving Thanks!

Wow this Thanksgiving week had it all. We had such a great time. It was so nice to get away as a family and I can't thank Grandpa and Aurora enough for giving us the opportunity. We just enjoyed being together so much. Chris and I had many reflective moments, moments of great joy and growth. I always savor those moments in life that just seem to stretch us to the limit but in the end you find you are 2 feet taller, we had a few of those moments and I am deeply grateful for them.

Things we loved:

Swimming in November
Seeing Jarom, Chrissy, Laela, Ivy and Brett

Spending time with Grandpa and Aurora
Eating, Eating, Eating and More Eating.

Meeting and getting to know the Farnsworth Family!
Bombarding the Farnsworth Family every day until they were sick of us but loving every minute of it. They are a wonderful hospitable family that we had lots of laugh time with.

Swimming with Chrissy, Laela and Ivy Jumping off the bed everyday 3 million times!!!Bottom line!
We love Arizona and we are grateful for the friends and family that made it an amazing trip.
In no particular order, I am thankful for;

Our family, my blessings, the miracles that happen everyday in our lives, for hardship, for being positive in hardship, for laughing, laughing, and more laughing, for the gospel, for my amazing, wise and kind husband, for my wonderful children, for this past year and the growth it has afforded us, for church talks and the balance they help create in my life, for sisters who love and listen, for my mother who is my foundation and road map, for my mistakes, for the gospel, for reaching 40 this year and loving getting older, for the wisdom of age, for our dreams and ambitions, for my failures, for good friends, for serendipity and all the joy I choose to feel everyday!

The Food of the Gods

This is the wrap up of a long 2 weeks without Chris. We have missed him sooooo much and we are all giddy with excitement at his return tomorrow. Today the kids didn't have school so they just played. All the friends have gone home now, the two little girls have gone to bed and I just got back from a 10:00pm run to the grocery store to fulfill a craving.....pomegranates. Olivia started begging early in the evening then Chloe chimed in and I had been craving them all day. There is something about a pomegranate....when fall comes and pomegranate season begins I get so reminiscent about my childhood. My love affair with pomegranates began with Moses....yes really, Moses, or should I say Charlton Heston. There is a scene in the 10 Commandments when Moses has come back to Egypt to fulfill the Lords purpose and he has an encounter with Nefretiri. She is jealous about the new woman in his life and tries to seduce him away. She questions him about this new woman, a sheep herder and asks about her physical attributes. At one point she says "Are her lips reeeeeed like pomegranates" I had to add the extra e's because she draws the word out in the movie. Well for some reason when I heard Nefretiri refer to that fruit I felt that I, this poor little girl living in a small town in Canada, would somehow garner some status and beauty by partaking of this rare exotic fruit. I know that is so silly but such are our youthful imaginings.
So each year when September rolled around I could not get enough of them. My Mom would always groan when I walked in with one and I got the lecture.....those things will stain anything they touch....you be careful and don't eat it in the living room. They were only available for 4-6 weeks of the year and then gone. the funny thing is that I bought them at the candy store. They were sold as a confections in my town. Right there along with the Circus Peanuts, Pepchews and Mojo's was a basket of pomegranates. I would run down to Ken's Confectionery and pick out the reddest, biggest pomegranate I could. That was the only time of the year that fruit tempted me more than candy! I guess I have passed on the love to my children because I came home tonight with a bag of 6 pomegranates and Chloe, Olivia, and I sat in mesmerize silence as we opened and enjoyed those sweet juicy seeds. It was perfection. Ok the pomegranate story wouldn't be complete without me telling you about the BEST pomegranate I have ever eaten. When I was in Jerusalem we were driving near the Gaza Strip when I looked out the bus window and saw acres and acres of shrub like trees that had cantaloupe size red things. We yelled to the bus driver "Hey what is the crop over there?" he yelled back "Pomegranates" Several of us then yelled....no screamed "STOP" We got out and the land owner, who was near, gave us permission to each take one. Now I want to emphasize that this was no exaggeration....they were as large as a cantaloupe. I had never seen anything so beautiful in my life. As I sat down in the bus to open and savor this moment I was sooo happy, it was pure bliss. There are moments in your life when the stars seem to align and the universe seems to combine to bring absolute, complete happiness. This was that moment for me. I couldn't believe that I was looking at a pomegranate so big.....I didn't know it was possible, and the fact that this moment was happening in the Holy Land, the Land that Moses and his people were seeking and inherited........wow. What more can I say. I was completely happy in that moment!!

To Dad from Elle and Olivia

I almost went to bed and forgot to post this.....Chris, Elle made a book for you and wanted me to post it for you to see. Here it is !



This say's my Dad is on a Jet


And here is Olivia's letter

Scattered Random thoughts

There is so much I want to say but my thoughts are so scattered. Nothing clear and cohesive is going to come out but I will make an attempt. First I want to say how much I love having a 12 year old. She has become such a thoughtful, wise human being. As I drive her to school each day we usually end up having very meaningful conversations about important life topics. She is so broad and deep in her thought process that I am amazed. How does a 12 year old critically think in the manner she does? How did my little cutie pie in diapers become this human being that I feel blessed to know and lucky learn from. She is so beautiful, strong and wise. She stands up for everything she believes in no matter what the recourse or loss. She has a firm idea of where she is headed in life and I almost feel that my role now is to just hold her hand and cheer her on. Yesterday she said, "Mom, I really do feel that Heavenly Father has sent great spirits to the earth at this time when wickedness is reaching critical levels and there are fewer voices for our values." I think she is right. We talked and talked tonight and I realize that she is at a stage where she just wants me to listen to her and be there as a sounding board.next topic:
It sounds mean but sometimes I love it when my kids are sick. There is nothing like the way they need you when they feel rotten. Olivia has had a fever for 7 days and even though I have been so busy with Chris gone and haven't been able to give her as much attention as I would have liked I have loved the time I have had. She slept with me last night. I couldn't sleep so I just stared at her...she started talking in her sleep so it got a little funny...but I rubbed her head and face and couldn't believe how much she has grown and how amazing she is. She has wanted me to care for her and love her and I have loved every minute of it. She is a sweet and loving girl and kept asking me all day...."Mom, is there anything I can do for you" What a sweetheart. Next: I am excited for my husband to come home. We are rarely apart for extended periods of time. The longest time I remember being apart was when he went to China for 3 weeks 2 years ago but during that time Chloe and I went on a mother/daughter trip to Washington DC to tour all the US History sites so the time went very fast. 2 weeks is too long, I miss him!!! Next......I am a horrible time manager. I know that was a random segue but that is how my thoughts are going tonight. This is not a new revelation and Chris knows it well but it drives me nuts. I swear Chris can get more done in an hour than I can in 5. I think I may be ADD. I just jump from thing to thing and never get anything done. This is how it goes. I am cleaning the kitchen, there is a sock on the kitchen floor, I take it to the dirty clothes in the bedroom, I see the curling iron is not unplugged. I unplug it and put it in the drawer and see the drawer is messy, I start cleaning that, then the phone rings, I go back the the kitchen that I left an hour ago and remember that I was cleaning the kitchen but I notice I have received some emails so I stop to reply and this goes on and on all day and at the end everything is half done and I wonder if I am effective at anything. It is midnight right now and I still need to mop the floor and here I am blogging. There is so much more running through my head but I need to stop........and mop and whatever else crosses my path........hopefully eventually...........I will find the bed.

For Chris

Chris and I are communicating while he is gone through this Blog. He is giving me updates on his trip through his blog and he is finding out what we are doing through mine so there may be a bit of indulgence here for his sake. Also this is a journal of sorts and I want these sweet things kept forever.

We had Family Home evening tonight. Olivia did the lesson on creating a team atmosphere in our family. She had handouts and an activity. Her quote for the evening was. "Teamwork--the coming together of an alliance or group of minds to collaborate, cooperatively work on a project, solve problems, negotiate, and resolve conflict....our family is a team". She then had an activity where each person sat on a chair at the front of the room and the rest of us wrote what we love about them. It became a very sweet, touching evening with a few tears so I am going to write the things that were said. Ava sat in the chair first.

AVA
Chloe wrote: Her contagious smile and laughter bring joy to our family. Her sparkling personality gives us light through darkness. She is sweet as candy and super mischievous.
Olivia wrote: I like your sparkling smile and funny personality. Ava is wonderful plus cute and she keeps me entertained. She is my best friend ever.
Elle wrote: Ava is so funny. She loves us and she is my best friend.
Mom wrote: She brightens my day and makes me laugh. She is smart beautiful and talented. She loves to cuddle and cuddle and cuddle some more.
Elle was next
Chloe wrote: Her sparkling eyes bring the pacific ocean to Oklahoma. she is as sweet as can be in mind and spirit. She is very smart and funny and a great singer. She is heaven on earth.
Olivia wrote: She is sweet as can be and has a hidden secret only she knows. Her sweet smile and beautiful eyes make you just want to fly to heaven. Her sweet personality can lighten anyones' day no matter how dark the room is.
Mom wrote: She has clear blue eyes and a gentle spirit. She is fun and funny and very smart. I love her hugs and kisses. She has many many talents.
Olivia
Chloe wrote: Her voice sings a melody or harmony that lifts you up. Whether it is singing or acting or just sitting there looking beautiful it causes you to be attracted to her fun spirit. She is a loyal sister and friend.
Elle wrote: I love Olivia, she is so nice. she is so pretty. I love her.
Mom wrote: Spunky and full of life. She never gives up and always chooses good. She is a deep thinker who is concerned about the important things in life. She has a beautiful voice and many many talents. She is a leader.

Chloe
Olivia wrote: She always chooses the right whether it's gossip, church, or maybe even boys. Her wonderful talent to write beautiful music and sing brings heaven to earth no question. She is always there to comfort and help you through any situation.
Elle wrote: I know she loves me and I love her.
Mom wrote: Chloe is responsible and has talent that can only come from heaven. She is smart but more than that she is wise. She is thoughtful about her life, righteous and good. She is beautiful inside and out.Dad
Chloe wrote: His determined spirit and wit are two of the many reasons he is absolutely irresistible. His "love to belly laugh" is contagious. He is super fun to be around but also he is very wise. he is the glue that keeps our family together. His love for life and his compassionate eyes make you humble yourself. He is unselfish and is also the coach of our team. I love his clean freakishness. I am so like him in many ways and I love him a lot. He is so righteous.
Olivia wrote: He has the best spirit in the world that surrounds him to attract people naturally. His wit and belly laugh lightens our lives. What would we do without him. Man we wouldn't be living at all. He brings our family together with the humble face that mommy loves so dearly and so do I. I love my Dad.
Elle wrote: I love Dad. He is the nicest Dad I never had. I know that I love Dad.
Mom wrote: My stomach still gets all tingly when he walks in a room. I am still deeply infatuated with him after 15 years of marriage. I didn't know it was possible for a man to be so good. I feel like I can barely keep up with the great things he does and the great person he is becoming. The admiration I feel for him is deep. Love is much too shallow a word to describe how I feel. He is rooted to my soul, a part of me as intrinsic as any basic essential of life. How lucky I am to be his partner, and companion for eternity. Mom
Chloe wrote: Her beautiful voice, spirit and face are very comforting. She is such an example and role model to me but yet a wonderful mother. I am happy and proud to say I consider her to be a great friend not counting the age difference. She is the glue that holds our family together. Her Patience is a great example. She is the coach of our team. She is so fun to be around and her fun personality helps to bring out your real personality. I could never ask for a better Mom. She is so righteous and wonderful.
Olivia wrote: Mom the light of our lives, the wisest woman of all, the best counselor but mainly she is my Mom. She has the most pretty voice but the most wisest mind to help you through any situation. She is always open to talk to you even if you are shy. You can tell she loves you through her pretty eyes. But mainly she is the best Mom in the world.
Elle wrote: I love my Mom, she is my friend and I think she is nice.

Mom looses her cool.....then recovers!

So this morning wasn't so great. We had a busy day ahead and everyone seemed off and grouchy. We got up and I had to rush off to get prescriptions filled (Chloe's throat issue). Chloe's throat was so bad she was struggling to hit the notes of the song we had to sing today at the Primary leadership meeting and decided she couldn't sing with us.
All the girls spent the whole morning fighting over every little issue they could fight over. It was bad!!!! So just before we were to head off to piano lessons and the primary meeting I blew up. It was one of those, big regret later, moments. They had been fighting and crying and whining for 3 hours and I had been kind long enough, I got really mad at all of them and said no movie, out to eat and fun tonight. We headed off to piano lessons in silence. The girls all tearfully apologized and we drove most of the way in silence. After the drive to piano I was feeling better and they were all being so kind to each other. We ended up having a great afternoon. Lessons went great, Chloe is writing some of the most beautiful music. I can't believe that a 12 year old is writing the songs she does. Her teacher at the University is also amazed at her ability. Olivia is also writing some amazing music that is beyond her 10 years. We then headed off to the Primary meeting and the song went very well. At the last min Chloe joined us only to sing the last verse but we were glad to have her join. As we came home they had been so good that I was regretting that I had said no fun and movie tonight. I figured we could still have fun without going back on my punishment so we made a nummy dinner, put the two little girls to bed and then we got cozy in my bed, ate leftover Halloween candy, held hands and watched Pride and Prejudice. We LOVE that movie. It was really fun and then we all ended up sleeping together (Chloe, Olivia and I) Then at about 3 am Elle joined us and then at about 4:30 am Ava joined us and we were so squished but cozy. It was a fun night.

Did I say how much we LOVE this movie!!!!

Hmmm Something is Wrong With this Picture!!

Well, not exactly with the picture itself but what it represents.......that is that Chris leaves tomorrow for an 8 day sailing trip to the British Virgin Islands.......WITHOUT ME!!! Ok, I am really not mad but I must point out that he just got back from Cannes France, notice I said he, not we. I am fine, I won't be jealous as he scuba dives and kite boards while I rush the kids off to school. Nor will I be bothered when he is sailing between islands listening to his ipod in the sun as I cook dinner and mop and sweep the floors, and I will be especially happy for him as he eats scrumptious food at various local restaurants and diners while I am formatting new treatment packets and screeners for the show. Ha ha, do I sound bitter. No I really am not because I have planned for each of the girls to get a special night to sleep with me and have Mom and daughter time and we are just going to do girly things all week, movies, shopping, and fun. He is the one that needs to be worried.......about the checking account, hope there still is one when he gets back.
Actually Chris will be sailing the Blue blue waters with his Dad and brother and I am glad that they have bonding time. They will be sailing that boat on their own and charting their course so I hope he comes home in one piece. They are all experienced divers and wanna-be kite boarders so I am sure it will be a blast. I will miss him terribly. Tonight I told Chloe, I am just not as good at everything when Dad is not around. The rhythm of our whole life is just off with out him.

Pictures

Chloe, Olivia and I went out together this week and I took a couple of pictures of them that I think are cute..

Halloween!

Well, our computer crashed the day after Halloween so we had to get a new one and start over. It has taken me a while to get the Halloween update on the blog. What a fun Halloween night...yes we had 40 twelve year olds here for Chloe's party and it was a little....wait a lot, wild. We had such a fun night!!!! We had the whole atmosphere set with a fog machine, strobe light and great music. The kids all arrived at 6:00. We ate and played a few fun games then at 7:00 they all went on a trick or treating candy scavenger hunt. I can not believe how much candy they all came home with in one hour. When they got back they dumped out all their candy on the floor so we could count and determine what team won. It was literally a mountain of candy that filled the living room. Imagine 40 bags full. I was so caught up in the counting and giving of prizes that I forgot to get a picture, I am so mad at myself because I have never seen anything like it. It was highly competitive because the prize was gift certificates for each person on the team so they were very serious.

Then came the best part of the night. As I previously mentioned our house is built where a old saw mill used to stand. Our back yard has a large pond so at about 8:30 Chris took all the kids down by the pond, we had built a large bon fire and he gathered them around and told the story of a Saw mill worker in the 1800's who was murdered and rises out of the pond every 7 years to seek revenge for the murder.
Chris and I worked for hours refining the story and the presentation. While he was telling the horrific details and scaring the living daylights out of them, I had planted things in the bushes to make noises and scare them even more. Little Elle and I went down and threw a few boulders in the pond for effect and made some eerie noises. She and I had fun. Well, he had planned it with Chloe to get the last name of one of the boys' at the party and at the end of the story he said "But don't worry, Joshua (the murdered man) only rises to get revenge on the grandchildren of his murderer. So since there is no one with the last name Crouch we don't have to worry" Well the poor kid with the name Crouch spoke up and said "Hey, my name is Crouch" then Chris screamed as loud as he could "RUN". Those 40 kids were screaming and running for the house like they were being chased by a ghost. It was sooo funny. Thomas Crouch came in the house and jumped right on the computer to see if the story was true.....darn computers, they ruin everything. It was such a fun night.

Things that drove me nuts......What is the deal with 12 yr olds all having cells phones? All Chris and I heard all night was..."Mrs Bray, I lost my cell phone can you help me find it?" "Mr. Bray, have you seen a pink Razor phone anywhere?" "Has anyone seen my cell phone?" I am serious. It was driving us crazy, at least 7 or 8 people lost, then recovered, their cell phones in the course of the night. I said "Chloe see why you don't have a cell phone, no one can keep track of them."

Things I loved.....

Seeing Chloe have so much fun with all her friends.

Hiding in the bushes with Elle, who was up way past her bed time, scaring the kids.

Trick or treating with Ava who looked like and angel and couldn't get enough candy.

Watching Olivia hang with all the older kids and hold her own.

Hearing the next day that Thomas Crouch slept with his parents that night. (at least that is what he was telling everyone)

Things that wore me out.

staying up until 1am cleaning the huge mess made by all those crazy kids. Chris and I actually enjoyed the time to visit but we were worn out by the time our heads hit the pillow. It was a great day!