Turning 40!!

I must say reiterate, this is my journal so this post is really for my girls to read one day.....if you are not interested in my birthday indulgence please stop reading right here.

I AM 40!!

I remember when I was about 9 or 10 thinking..."wow one day I will be 20, I can't believe I will actually be 20 one day". It seemed like such a huge number and I was fascinated to think I would one day reach that huge milestone. Well, I doubled it today and I will say this, if I had known at 10 how great 40 was going to be I would have wanted to get there as fast as I could. Here is my synopsis on age:

Teenage years: Just a mess, get through it as fast as you can and then begin your life. I was so lost in so many ways yet, I was grounded in the gospel....thank heaven for that. I thank great parents who gave me a solid foundation in the church so I didn't flounder in other areas of my life and make the mistakes I saw my friends making. I had that one secure life line to hold on to that gave me direction. All else is just confusing.

Late teens/collage age: This is the "who am I?" Stage. I had a vision of who I wanted to be and I was on a crazy pursuit to fill myself up with all the experiences and living that would make me whole. "What is my purpose, who will I be, who will I marry and where am I headed?" were all that absorbed my thoughts. My mission set me on an important course....the greatest decision I made up until that point. p.s No, I don't wear glasses, I have no idea why I am wearing them int his picture??

20's/marriage and family life: This is the "Am I measuring up, as good as everyone else, as accomplished as everyone else, as good a mother as my friends, have as much money or nice a house as everyone else?" stage. I was embarking on life and used others as my barometer as to how I was doing. These were very happy years but spent too much time looking outside myself for confirmation as to how I was doing. It was wasted energy.

****I must say this......that marrying Chris Bray was the absolute best decision I ever made.

30's This is the "I could care less what everyone else is doing I am on my own journey" stage. I loved my 30's. I became centered in who I am and what my own purpose in life is. Chris and I have been on a wonderful journey together this past 10 years that has been such a joy. There was no time to worry about what everyone else was doing. I was just focused on my amazing growing family and trying to become a better person, wife and mother. The lessons learned and peace I feel about the past 10 years is a happy memory. Lots of growth, Great friendships, successes and many failures mark the past decade and I am ready to see what the next decade will bring for our family.

40's. Looking at where my life is going I would say this is the "Now forget yourself and see what mark you can leave on the world" stage. I just feel in my soul that this is the best stage to be embarking on. I hope my girls get to this stage much sooner than I did!! So much has changed the past few years. I no longer put much stock in anything material. Does that mean I don't like material things....no, I love beautiful homes and new iPods as much as anyone but it is no longer important to me. I LOVE experiences and people. I want a bigger/smaller life......Bigger in experiences and people that I love, and smaller in material things. I hope to fill the next 10 years with lots of great amazing experiences that may often be hard but will stretch my capacity to do, know, serve and achieve. I want to be good. I am grateful that I have a husband and partner who has the same desires and even though he is 2 years younger than me...he can begin the the 40's pursuit also. I am so excited!!

Girls, please remember this, The center and foundation of all this joy and living has been my belief in, and testimony of, the gospel. I am so happy that I can look back on 40 years and know that despite all my struggles and trials I have felt joy deeper than can be imagined and it is not because I had a nice house, a cute outfit, a great car or any worldly acclaim. It was purely and simply my knowledge of the Savior and my deep love for him. This testimony of him has given me a knowledge of who I am and that I have a purpose on this earth that is vital to our Heavenly Fathers plan. I hope that as your mother I have given this same gift to you.

I also hope I am around when you turn 40 and can baby sit my cute grandchildren while you go out and have a good time!!

Olivia is in the News!!

Here is the link to an article in our local newspaper about Olivia who has the lead in the 5th grade school play. http://www.edmondsun.com/archivesearch/local_story_354175200.html

Also here is a little video clip of Olivia playing a song she wrote.

SO Funny!!

It was a great night. Chloe had her Christmas Choir concert and she did a great job.

We came home, it was late and I was busy getting the girls ready for bed when I heard strange noises......it sounded like someone was banging around downstairs and as I came down there was Chris huffing and out of breath standing in front of his office. He said anxiously "get me the phone" I stood there looking bewildered and then the said it more insistently and I knew he was serious, so I grabbed the phone as he opened the door to his office and there in the darkness was a very frightened 14-15 year old boy. "What is going on.......?" Well, Chris always works very hard at making our Christmas lights look nice every year and every year they get vandalized. There are always teenagers who place our reindeer in compromising positions etc. It usually ends up ruining the display and breaking the reindeer. Well I guess Chris saw the teenagers out there and snuck up on them and scared the begeebees out of them. He grabbed 2 of them and the one boy wriggled away ripping his shirt off in the process but the one boy he had a good hold on. If you have ever seen The Office episode where they keep the pizza guy hostage??? well I had visions of that as this boy was cowering in our house. Chris grabbed the phone and said to the boy....OK you have a choice, do I call the police or your parents. Of course he chose his parents and Chris called. The parents who live in our neighborhood were horrified and the poor boy was shaking in his boots.

It all ended nicely as Chris explained to the parents that he understood because he was a teenager once but he hoped the boy learned his lesson. The boy shook Chris's hand and apologized profusely as he left and I decided that my husband is a stud!! What a funny night.

Dancing is good for the soul!

There is no doubt in my mind that we should dance more. We had our traditional ward Christmas dinner and dance tonight and I must say that it is the most anticipated event of the year. It is a HUGE fun party and we had a blast. From an amazing roast beef dinner, a program, a visit from Santa and a night of dancing it was such a fun night!! I just love dancing with my kids.


Here are the highlights of the evening....the room was dark so I couldn't see through my viewfinder when taking a picture so many of the pictures are a little crazy but you can see how much fun we had!!


1. The food was delicious!!!!....No picture of that because we had all downed it before I even thought about it.



2. The primary sang Christmas songs.....Ava was front and center.

Chloe and Olivia performed also!! (The Greatest Time of Year)




3. Santa Came!!

2. Ava danced more and harder than anyone in the room....everyone commented on it. Boy she can wiggle that little booty!

4. Elle came in a close second.......wow she sure came out of her shell.......she even got asked to dance by a 13 year old boy and she bravely did it!!

5. Chris is a little too good at the Chicken dance and all other line dances.....our girls loved it.

5. There is nothing like dancing with your Dad.

6. Line dancing with the whole ward is a crack up!!

It was a great start to the holiday season and one that my kids will always remember and cherish.

IT IS SNOWING TODAY!!!

A busy week at the Holiday store

I think this has been the happiest holiday season ever for so many reasons. One, I haven't purchased one present yet and I love the simplicity that not worrying about commercial interests has given me. Several weeks ago as I was going through some difficult things and my sister Carol, whom I love, told me of a talk she loved and suggested I listen to. The talk was given by Terry Warner entitled "Honest, Simple, Solid and True". Oh my goodness it was beyond great....Chris and I have now listened to it 5 or more times each and talked endlessly about its principles. I have noticed that when Heavenly Father wants you to learn something you find it comes to you over and over again from different angles and in different forms. We have experienced this and I am so enjoying the learning process. In in addition to this talk we stumbled upon a blog of a young man who is biking across South America. He is an interesting person who has a compelling story to tell and he has captured our hearts, he has a post on December 11th entitled 11,000 km that really speaks to simplicity in life. ( http://www.thenomadlife.blogspot.com/ ) Ok I am really jumping all over the place and need to reign in my thoughts.

What I am trying to say is that I am so happy, I am happy because I have grown so much in the past year despite many hardships, happy because it is the Christmas season and I love the feelings, colors, lights and spirit of this season, and happy because I have a new perspective on life that gives me greater appreciation of the blessings I have. Another thing that has brought me great joy has been the thing that has absorbed my life for the past 2 weeks and that is the Holiday Store at the girls elementary school. I signed up to help, then got asked to help head it up and then ended up overseeing the whole thing with one other girl Stephanie. It has been sooooo much work. I fall into bed every night with my feet aching and worn out but it has been such a joy. For those of you who do not know what a holiday store is, we create a store in the school for all the kids to shop for Christmas for their families. We went out and shopped for, and set up a store in the school and that in itself was a major feat. The past 3 days have been shopping days for the kids. Here are the highlights,

1. The kids were all unanimous in their praise......"this is the best holiday store we have ever had". We were so happy that they were happy.

2. Helping all the kids shop for their families and seeing their excitement at finishing up and feeling that they were ready for Christmas and had done all their shopping.

3. Helping many many kids, who arrived with only 1 or 2 dollars pick out presents for their whole family and telling them that their 2 dollars was enough.....It makes me cry as I write it because we heard such excitement in their voices as they told eachother of all the things they had purchased and joy in their faces as they walked out with bags full of presents for their whole family that they wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise.

4. Laughing (inside of course) as one boy I was helping buy gifts said "well, the only thing I know is my grandma likes cigarettes......do you sell cigarettes here?" No sweetie we don't carry those....how about a nice picture frame......candle maybe?

5. Having Ava by my side every day helping me wrap the presents. All the kids just loved her and one day for lunch she sang for the whole 5th grade. They loved her so much that she came home with some presents to put under the tree that new found friends bought her at the holiday store.

Now I can begin to focus on my family and making it a fun Christmas for them. I will begin my own shopping and baking and try to remember the great lessons I learned from all those sweet kids.

Endless Icy Blessings from Heaven.....Day 3.

Well we are now on day 3 and loving it. On Monday we woke up to more ice than can be imagined and another FREE day. We had a big breakfast, then at about noon we lost power so we went out and ran errands, mall, etc. Chloe and Olivia got together with friends we all just had a great day. When we got home....still no power so we had a fun night making dinner, reading scriptures, and getting cozy all by candlelight. The girls all had their evening baths thanks to Chris boiling pots and pots of water. As we drew near to bedtime we started to get very cold. We layered it up and gathered in all the big cozy blankets we could. After getting all the kids to bed Chris and I realized that there was very little to do....no computer, TV or distractions so we also climbed into our bed with layers of blankets and read C.S. Lewis by candlelight. It was such a fun happy evening. Today I don't think we will leave the house. We have plans to never get out of our pajamas and play games all day. How lucky are we!!

Icy Blessings from Heaven

I haven't posted in several weeks because my schedule has gone into warp speed and extra time has not been a luxury I have had. I am in charge of the Holiday Store for my girls elementary school and it has been HUGE. It is 3 weeks of lots of hard work and I have 1 week left before it is all over and I can breathe again. On Saturday evening Chris and I were talking and I said "I just desperately want a little free time to do some fun things with the girls and not feel so pressured. I want to make our yearly traditional gingerbread houses and go shopping and do some fun holiday stuff together." I have been envious as I have grabbed a quick glance at my other friends blogs and they are baking and enjoying holiday preparations. Well my prayers were answered. This morning we were awakened early with a phone call letting us know that the overnight ice storm had caused church to be cancelled. I have many large responsibilities at church so this completely opened up the day for family time. We had a huge crepe breakfast that was soooooo good. We then spent the next 2 hours making gingerbread houses and then later in the afternoon we went over to some friend's house and had a scrumptious dinner together with a full talent show at then end. We had a violin solo, saxaphone solo, singing, original songs performed and so much more. The kids had a great time together making up skits, dance routines, and plays. It finally felt like the Christmas season. As we go to bed we are getting word that there will be more ice and rain and school will be cancelled tomorrow.....I will go to bed dreaming of the fun things I will do with my family on this 2nd free day......I am so happy. Here are a few pics starting with Olivia and Ava with red noses and cheeks after going out first thing in the morning to play on the ice.

Sorry!!

Ok,I have received so many emails and calls about my last post. I am so sorry that I wasn't clear. We are not moving away, we are just moving to a new house. Sometimes I am sooooo not clear and I am sorry if I caused anyone brief confusion. I will say this, It made me feel so good that so many of you cared....I am actually glad I miscommunicated because it gave me a small ego boost, I appreciate the fact that I have dear friends who love and care about us and didn't want us gone. I will say that after our trip to Arizona, Chris carefully considered it....he was not liking the cold weather we came home to but we love the people here....salt of the earth, great, people who I want in my wagon train(my silly complement to people who I think are amazing.). We are not leaving!!! Blogs can be hard in that it can be so easy to miscommunicate when not intended. Type written words don't convey intent or heart. Thanks for your calls and email. I feel blessed to know you.

Getting ready to sell

I can't be the only one who hates moving. As we are trying to get our house ready to sell I just hate the whole process. I know how I am when I am looking at a house to buy, I evaluate every detail of the house and when I look at this house we have lived in for 9 years there will be some work to get it looking good enough that someone else will want to live in it. It is also sad to leave a house that we have loved, laughed, and had so many memories in. I get so sentimental about things but So much of our life has happened here. I look at each room and I have deep touching memories of quiet talks, tears, tickles and laughs, family home evenings, time spent plotting out our dreams and ambitions and just happy family life. See how I am??? I am going to weep like a baby when we leave. Don't get me wrong, our house is beautiful and we have kept it in good shape but I am picky and want it to look like new for the next owner. It will be a long process. I am sure we won't be moving for 3 or 4 months but we begin the process now. I am thankful for the great years that we have had here and I know that our new house will be a happy place for many more memories. It is all good!

Giving Thanks!

Wow this Thanksgiving week had it all. We had such a great time. It was so nice to get away as a family and I can't thank Grandpa and Aurora enough for giving us the opportunity. We just enjoyed being together so much. Chris and I had many reflective moments, moments of great joy and growth. I always savor those moments in life that just seem to stretch us to the limit but in the end you find you are 2 feet taller, we had a few of those moments and I am deeply grateful for them.

Things we loved:

Swimming in November
Seeing Jarom, Chrissy, Laela, Ivy and Brett

Spending time with Grandpa and Aurora
Eating, Eating, Eating and More Eating.

Meeting and getting to know the Farnsworth Family!
Bombarding the Farnsworth Family every day until they were sick of us but loving every minute of it. They are a wonderful hospitable family that we had lots of laugh time with.

Swimming with Chrissy, Laela and Ivy Jumping off the bed everyday 3 million times!!!Bottom line!
We love Arizona and we are grateful for the friends and family that made it an amazing trip.
In no particular order, I am thankful for;

Our family, my blessings, the miracles that happen everyday in our lives, for hardship, for being positive in hardship, for laughing, laughing, and more laughing, for the gospel, for my amazing, wise and kind husband, for my wonderful children, for this past year and the growth it has afforded us, for church talks and the balance they help create in my life, for sisters who love and listen, for my mother who is my foundation and road map, for my mistakes, for the gospel, for reaching 40 this year and loving getting older, for the wisdom of age, for our dreams and ambitions, for my failures, for good friends, for serendipity and all the joy I choose to feel everyday!