It is after midnight and I really should not be writing my thoughts when in such a tired state but these are things I am thinking lately, even in times of daylight and clarity, so I don't think I am off base.
Do you ever feel like you are not living up to your potential? I do. I don't mean my mother self, I am busy being a mother and I am really doing my best to keep all the wheels running smoothly. I love, adore, and care for my children and am guiding them forward to be all that they can be and I love it.
I mean my personal self. I am falling way way short and I feel it. I find myself hiding behind the 'mommy me' and it is a safe warm place where I can reside and no one will notice, but I know. I know I have way more in me and way more to do with my life.
I know........I just pray tomorrow I can wake up, give my life a once over, and make the changes I need to fulfill my potential. I feel a little scared even as I say it because I am deeply afraid....does that make any sense? I am sure it doesn't because after all, it is after midnight.
Life is amazing, I need to get on it.
10 comments:
I know exactly what you are talking about. I'm glad you posted this! It makes much sense.
Oh, the novel I could write! I have been feeling exactly the same way lately. I think that many people tend to settle into a routine and get complacent. One of MY fears is just that. The whole "2 Nephi 28:21" issue. I know that it's not good to be too hard on ourselves, but I also believe that when we feel a need for change, we should act on it. I'm sure "You're better than you think you are", but if you feel it-go for it! When it's time for change, or growth, the Spirit lets you know. Thanks so much for your honesty. It's comforting to know I'm not the only one...
An afterthought:
Remember, too, (like I have any business giving advice) that there is a time and a season for everything. Your season right now IS being a mom, and at THAT, I KNOW you are excelling! (My grandmother said the same thing to me about a week ago...)
You're describing every day of my life! And I'm not even doing that well at the mothering part... I think it's a daily challenge. But knowing that you have to make yourself a priority is half the battle (or something like that).
Girl, you are preaching to the choir! I hear ya loud and clear. Looking at the other comments, I feel we are not alone.
I've struggled with this to a tremendous degree lately as well. I've taken to the notion to just wake up in the morning, and try as hard as I can that day. Helps you to sleep that night knowing you gave it your all.
....but then again, is my "all" enough? Again, I hear ya! Please keep me posted if you figure it all out. :)
Stay strong, sister!
Do we really truly believe that our weaknesses can be made strengths.....I am working on having enough faith to make that a reality. Thanks for sharing your feelings. When we write down our thoughts, we are more likely to accomplish them.
You know, it's funny how things sound when you go back and read them. In my last comment it sounded like I was saying my grandmother said I was excelling at being a mom-that is NOT what she said!! She just said the part about a "time and a season". Hope nobody thought I was being snooty!
I am so glad you are my Aunt. I get what you are saying here... Especially the FEAR part. It can be a fear that keeps one quiet so as not to even hear the words that put focus in that direction. If you have time to pick up an absolutely incredible book... Do: it's The Essential Laws Of Fearless Living by Guy Finley. Combine the stuff in there with the gosple and I swear it's just about application....
But then again, I didn't sleep last night so, what am I talkin about!? Love you!
Well, I don't have much to say except I just think you are amazing!
Funny, I was just thinking about this very thing this morning. My kids are getting a little older and I can finally breathe. Where to put my energy. There are so many "good" things you can do, but it's choosing the better part. My challenge is doing the good things, but still being "available" for my kids in this most pivotal moments in their life. I think we rarely have the "perfect" balance. Love how you think, and are always trying to be better! love you...
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