Why couldn't I be raised in an orphanage? it's just not fair!

This was pretty much a dominant thought of my childhood. Why you may ask? Did I grow up in an abusive home where I was unloved or neglected? Not a chance, I grew up in a stable happy home with amazing loving parents. So why would I spend any time wishing I was in an orphanage? I will tell you why, because my mother made it sound like the greatest place on earth. I would sit by her side in the evening and she would tell stories, amazing stories of intrigue and adventure. I wanted so badly to hide my apples in the snow by the orphanage steps only to gather them hours later and scrape my teeth across the frozen apple flesh for a delectable rarely experienced treat. I wanted to arrive at the orphanage with my little stash of worldly belongings and have the girls gather round me to see what I had and begin bartering and trading our goods. I wanted to sing Christmas carols in the big hall and gather to get our one gift that Christmas, an orange, which my mother made sound like the greatest gift ever received (citrus fruit was very rare for them). I wanted to feel the way that she did about that one orange. I wanted to relish fruit so much that I would trade my one prized possession, a carved wooden box that held an assortment of perfume, for one solitary lemon and never regret the trade. I wanted to sit on the large front oak steps that she described in detail and dream of all the things I would do and be.

My mother, at the time of her arrival, with her younger brother Leroy.

As I relive these stories now I feel the same feelings that I did when I was a child. My lucky lucky mother!!

As an adult I have now come to fully realize what an amazing woman my mother is. I have learned from her to try to find joy in everything I face or experience. I now believe that the orphanage couldn't have been the wonderland that she made it out to be. I can only guess of the pain and hurt a child must feel when abandoned and left alone in a strange place. I know how it must have been so difficult as she and her 4 year old brother were left without a mother or father hold and care for them. To this day she would dispute any of these thoughts I now have. "Oh Gale", she would say, "life was so good and so happy for me, my Father in Heaven was mindful and I was so very blessed". I never heard words like; abandoned, fear, sadness, alone, victim. She spoke only in terms of joy and optimism. She only shared one experience that was sad at all, and each time she told it, she and I would both cry. It was how sad she felt the morning after her arrival as she walked to breakfast and saw her 4 year old brother toddling down the hall carrying his sheets, almost too heavy for him to carry, to the laundry room as he had wet the bed that night. That was the only negative she ever shared and oh I knew she felt so sad for him. She never spoke of her own pain.

I am even amazed at how she speaks of raising 8 children. Again, if I even mention how hard it must have been to raise 8 children she brushes it off and says "Oh Gale, I have no memory of it being hard at all, it was a joy". Well, I lived in that house and I know it wasn't always a joy, there were very very hard times and struggles that would overwhelm anyone. We lived in a 1800 sq foot house with one bathroom, no shower, and no dishwasher. I feel shame if I ever complain??

Some would say oh she is unrealistic and in la la land. I will admit at times I have been frustrated by her continual optimism but now at this stage in my life I know she came to this earth with more wisdom than most. She has chosen to see joy in pain and peace in struggle and she is the better because of it. She is full of joy. I am grateful today as mothers day is coming close for an amazing mother. I pray that I can be half the woman she is.

*As a side note both her parents were alive when she was taken to this orpanage to live. That is a story for another day. An amazing story.