Her favorite food is grapes!
There are not words in the english language to describe the joy and love that has entered our home since we adopted Eve. It is happiness beyond my pre-adoption comprehension and I am so dearly grateful that I have felt this level of joy now. We are truly blessed. Each of the girls comments to me, almost weekly, that they can't imagine our lives without her and how grateful they are to Chris and I for bringing her home.
In writing about our experience I have tried to be very positive about everything but something happened last night that I want to write about. When we were in China picking up Eve we took the opportunity to visit the foster family that had cared for her for 8 months. I wrote about it here. One thing that I didn't talk about, because it was too painful for me at the time, was that when I went to that home to visit I was told that she was also caring for 4 other babies. When we arrived I saw a home full of adults but no babies so as we looked around the home I asked her if there were any other children she was caring for. She quickly took me to a door that when opened led to a cold cinderblock room that was pitch black (no windows or light at all). She flipped on the light and sitting there, in complete darkness, strapped into chairs were 4 babies, wide awake just silently sitting there staring into the darkness. They didn't cry, react or move as the light was flipped on and we came into the room. Their eyes were hollow and lifeless and I knew that this is how they spent a large portion of their day, in complete darkness. It also told me how she had treated my precious Eve for 8 months. My heart broke and I went to each of those girls and touched each of their faces and tried to give them a moment of love. I realized then why my little 8 month old could not sit up, rollover, hold a toy, and why she would endlessly sit and suck her fingers and hold the other hand up only an inch from her face and stare at it. I am sure this was a ritual of comfort for her as she spent long hours alone, awake, in a dark room with no one to respond to her needs.
That day was a very hard day for me. After the visit the orphanage director took us to a restaurant to eat lunch, I couldn't eat and had to step away to cry because the day had been so upsetting for me. My heart ached that I had to walk away and leave those 4 tiny girls behind with only a prayer for their forever mothers to come quickly. I was deeply sad that I was powerless to change my daughter's first 8 months but I was full of determination to make up for it by loving this little girl beyond her wildest imagining and I have kept that promise. There is no question that she is loved with everything that I can give and it has shown in her drastic growth, contentment and pure joy.
Which brings me to last night. Since the day we got her she has been a very good sleeper. 12-13 hours a night without ever waking up. As time has passed she has had a few instances where she has woken up crying but if I just hold and love her for a min she immediately goes back to sleep. We always have a small night light on so that if she wakes up she in NEVER in total darkness. Well, last night I had to go pick my husband up from the airport at almost 11pm. I left my daughters in charge. At around 11:30 my daughter called very upset "Mom Eve is hysterical and I can' calm her down, I don't know what is wrong I have never seen her like this?" I gave her instructions to do what we always did but she called back minutes later and said "Mom, you don't understand, she is not just crying, she is hysterical!!! I have never seen her like this, please please hurry". I was very worried because this was not like her to get this upset.
I rushed home as fast as I could and ran up to her room. Olivia was holding her as Eve clung to her as if her life depended on it. I went in to Eve's room I noticed something immediately, the room was completely dark. "Olivia, why is there no night light on?" I asked. Olivia told me that she had turned it off when she went to bed. I now know why my Eve was so unconsolable. Since she left that dark room in China I have made sure she is never in complete darkness. When she woke up with no light, I am guessing, but I believe she was flooded with memories and fear. I held her for about 30-40 min with her clinging to me like she has never done before. She held me so so tight and just sobbed and sobbed into my shoulder. I kissed and loved her and tried to reassure her with all my power to do so. I sang to her and Chris and I kissed and loved her until I saw calm return to her sweet eyes. She went back to sleep easily and slept the whole night.
I am so sad for the darkness that she endured for 8 months but I know that I am doing all that I can to now fill her world with light. This is what brings happiness, this is what brings joy, this is what life is about.
Actually I think her favorite food is chocolate!!
13 comments:
Oh my, she's getting so big! What a beautiful little girl Eve is.
Thank you so much for sharing this. There is no doubt that Eve came into your family for a reason. Heavenly Father knew exactly what He was doing when he brought all of you together. I am grateful that Eve has all of you to love her and to care for her and to show her all of the light and the beauty that life has to offer, and I am happy for all of you that you have Eve. I pray that those others babies can be brought into loving families as well. Adoption is such a special thing. It just provides further evidence that we're all God's children, that family is everyone. You inspire me in so many ways, Gale. Thank you so much for your wonderful example.
Oh, Gale, what a story. I thought a lot about you all during Christmas time, thinking about your little Eve learning about the joy of Christmas. I hope it was wonderful.
I just wish it didn't cost so much to adopt. I have always held a deep desire to adopt a little girl from China, but raising my own five kids has never left me with enough extra to make it happen. It's a shame that there are so many moms like me, who would love and cherish one of those little ones, introduce light into their world, if only they could.
One day, I hope.
Oh Ashley, I agree, China has such a corrupt government that they hold these children hostage for money. When we got to china they demanded more money from us, under the guise of a voluntary donation, but we knew that if we didn't pay it we would not get our daughter. It made me sick. The cost was atrocious. We come home broke.
You have so many little ones you are doing the most nobel thing in raising them. They are lucky to have you as a mother!!
I am so happy you posted! You're on my 'dashboard' and I was shocked to see a post from you...but so happy. I'm glad to have an update on Eve. It had been interesting to read about your adoption journey. You're a good writer! You should post more often =) Eve is so cute!
This brought tears to my eyes. Thank goodness you found each other. She needs you just as much as you need her. Much love to your family.
Gale thank you so much for posting this. I cried my eyes out as I read it to my husband. We brought our daughter home the month before your Eve came home. Like Eve, Jennifer was in foster care in YiYang. We have had almost 12 months of sleepless nights and have tried it all to comfort our girl. She hates to close her eyes and does it very reluctantly. Even though our girls are not from the same foster home, I'm sure things are similar in other foster homes in the area. Your post explains a lot. I never in my wildest dreams would have expected that scenario for our girls.
God has richly blessed our lives and the lives of our daughters! So blessed! And I am so glad I am the one holding my daughter and you holding your Eve in our arms in the darkness of night. Thank you again for posting this. I hope this also gives light to one of our travel mates whos (I think) daughter was with your Eve at the foster home. Any bit of info for all of us is like gold!
Oh how sweet she is and she is growing into a little girl rather than looking like a baby! I need to see her in person again. Miss and love you all and we need to chat and catch up.
what an amazing story, an amazing journey!!! how absolutely horrible that so many children of God are so neglected...it makes me absolutely sick to my stomach. How blessed is your family!!! that you prepared for her and that you get to experience the joy of having her forever.
Oh my goodness Gale, I have tears in my eyes and my heart feels so very heavy for her, and the other babies who have had/have to endure suck darkness. Unconscionable. I am so happy that you two found each other and she is surrounded by so much love. What a true blessing.
That is beyond heart breaking. Thank you for sharing such a private experience. She is such a beautiful little girl and so blessed you are to have each other.
I happened to visit your blog after a very long time. I guess I missed my friends. What a bitter-sweet post. Thank you for sharing it. I can't wait to meet Eve someday, the object of this beautiful blonde family's affection. Much love to you!
What sadness, yet it ends with such JOY!! It is symbolic to me of what our lives really are like before Christ - we live and walk in darkness and we may see the "light" from time to time, but we are unresponsive to anything. When we do finally live in the "light", then it consumes every part of our lives, even those that are around us. But, when we get a small reminder of what the darkness was like, it creates much emotion of how horrific it actually was.
It saddens my heart to think of little children living in such situations. May we all seek God's purpose for our lives and not make excuses for what He may ask us to do. May we always look at the bigger picture.
Thanks so much for sharing Gale.
I was given a link to this post by a friend. We also adopted from YiYang (Dec 09) and Emily was in foster care. My friend said I might want to read this - Em has slept well most nights over the past 13+ months but we've had some hysterical moments too.
Naps have been our biggest challenge and unlike your Eve, Em seems to prefer the dark. We have a night light as well but after a 6 month nap strike I finally put her in our bed/room where I could get it dark enough.
It breaks my heart and tears stream when I read about the conditions at the foster home. We were not offered or encouraged to ask about the foster families.
My husband has been deployed to Cambodia for the past 7 months and has seen a lot of wild and crazy things in this 3rd world country. He has built clinics and schools and connected very remote villages w/free surgical care for many issues. He can't even wrap his brain around this.
Since we don't know about Em's foster home situation I can only hope her environment was different but the way you describe their hands in front of their faces while they suck their fingers and where Eve was. Developmentally when you got her are on point for Em too.
The bright side - Em and Eve will never be in that environment ever again - but it has left its mark on them. When Em is much, much older we can share what we know and be there to support her as she asks moore questions.
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